


Dearly Beloved

by keelywolfe



Series: by any other name [22]
Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Underfell (Undertale), Alternate Universe - Underswap (Undertale), Angst, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Panic Attacks, Spicyhoney - Freeform, Underfell Papyrus (Undertale), Underfell Sans (Undertale), Underswap Papyrus (Undertale), Underswap Sans (Undertale), Undertale Monsters on the Surface, Weddings, papcest - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-07
Updated: 2018-10-07
Packaged: 2019-07-27 15:21:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,229
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16221842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/keelywolfe/pseuds/keelywolfe
Summary: Here comes the grooms...grooms? Grooooooms??





	Dearly Beloved

* * *

The town hall was the first public building that had been put up in New New Home. At first, it had been necessary for meetings, discussions that were important for their very lives, but gradually it had turned into more of a community building for all kinds of get togethers. Dances, parties, and yeah, weddings.

The decorations were carefully done, not that Red knew much about that but eh, he figured it had been done right. His brother had very specific tastes and that was fine. The kid that had grown up in the garbage dumps was still beneath that and just because he didn’t need to be that kid anymore didn’t mean he’d forgotten how.

Red made sure of that. 

And what of it, anyway? They all had dings in their souls, metaphorically speaking, even Papyrus, who came off as cheerful and maybe a little vacant, until you dug deeper to see beneath it. They all had dents, wounds that had healed over. Point of fact, Stretch’s soul had been pretty close to broken when they got here. Red had noticed that when they first met; he was pretty good at that, noticing things, and once he’d gotten to know him a little, Asgore had put that knack to good use.

King Fluffybuns came off as a good guy, but he had more than just a way with flowers going for him.

Speaking of, the entire hall was decorated liberally with plenty of flowers in shades of autumn, orange and yellow and deep red. He guessed the flowers were top notch, his bro wouldn’t have accepted anything less. Buncha weeds as far as Red was concerned.

What was really concerning was the hour, ten minutes past the appointed time and so far, they had guests and an officiant, Sans, since Stretch and Edge had both wanted their brothers to stand with them, and Stretch would probably rather get married by an Elvis impersonator than let Asgore do it as he had for Undyne and Alphys.

Sans was keeping the guests entertained with some decently clean jokes, but he caught Red’s eye lights and gestured discreetly. _what’s up?_

Red signed back, _give me five._

If he’d know he was going on a fucking quest today, he would have worn more comfortable shoes. Out past the double doors in the foyer, Antwan was standing, hands in his pockets and looking a lot like he wished he smoked at least something. A little weed right now would probably be helpful, but it was too late for that.

“hey,” Red nodded to him, “so, i can’t help but notice we have a room full of people in fancy clothes in there, sans is up front ready to officiate, and we are shy two grooms.”

“You noticed that, too?” Antwan always had a bone-dry sense of humor. “Where’s Edge?”

Red picked at his gold tooth with a sharp fingertip, “puking in the john.”

Antwan nodded. “Always thought it was weird how you guys can do that.”

“yeah, it's real chuckilicious,” Red agreed. “he’ll be fine, just needs a minute. i tell ya, give him a fight? he’ll step right up. something like this, it’s hurlsville. kid has issues.”

“I can’t imagine why,” Antwan said dryly. Red shrugged; everything couldn’t be his fault.

“welp, that’s one. where’s stretch?”

Antwan jerked a thumb at the outer door. “Outside having a panic attack.”

“uh huh. so it’s going pretty much how we expected,” Red sighed. Why was it always on him to get these fucksticks in line? “tell ya what, you go on in and see if you can keep my bro from yakking up his shoes, and i’ll have a look at the honey bun, sound good?”

“Yeah, go ahead,” Antwan agreed, because at least he knew Red got shit done. He called back over his shoulder. “Good luck.”

“good luck,” Red muttered under his breath and shook his head. In his experience, you made your own fucking luck.

Stretch was sitting on the concrete stairs and he probably looked damn fine in his tuxedo, but it was hard to tell with the way he was hunched over with his skull between his knees. Blue was standing in front of him, both hands on his brother’s shoulders, murmuring to him softly.

“Just breathe, brother, you’re fine,” he crooned. “Everything will be fine, keep breathing slow and easy.”

Slow and easy didn’t seem to be on the agenda because Stretch took a hitching breath and gasped out, “i can’t do this.”

“Of course you can,” Blue said with some asperity, although he stroked his brother’s skull gently. “You love him.”

That didn’t seem to be the right thing to say. Stretch jerked away from him and glared at his brother. “it’s not about me! of course i fucking love him! so if i love him how can i do this to him?” He let out a slow, shuddery breath and almost staggered to his feet, pacing in a tight circle. “don’t you get it? i’ve been waiting for three years for him to wake up and realize i’m not worth it.”

And there it was, kids, today’s special issue. He knew Edge had bullied Stretch into going to the head shrinker like Sans had, not a bad idea if you knew those two assholes, but seriously, was this the bullshit that had him wigging out the last few weeks?

Stretch wasn’t done with his particular brand of word vomit, still pacing and gesturing wildly. “so now he’s going to stick himself with me forever and i’m supposed to let him? you think i’m dedicated to a promise? how seriously do you think he’s going to take till death do us part?” Stretch slumped down to the stairs again, his head in his hands, and confessed softly, “it was okay before, he could still leave, but this?”

“Brother,” Blue sighed then looked up and caught sight of Red. “Red? you’re supposed to be with your brother.”

“yeah, i was but i could smell the insecurity from inside,” Red shook his head. There wasn’t enough weed in the world to deal with this, so he was going to have to try it cold. He crouched down next to Stretch, careful of his suit pants so he didn’t get Edge bitching at him for wrecking the pictures. “hey, listen up, honey bun. it don’t matter what you think of yourself, what matters is what my brother thinks and he thinks you’re the world. it would probably just about kill him if you pussy out now and you’d hate yourself besides.”

Stretch lifted his head enough to look at him, which was at least a start. Red shifted back on his heels and stood, gesturing down at his clothes. “and let me tell you something, i didn’t put on this getup for you to back out. so, you are gonna get up and get your ass inside where all the flowers and shit are, and you are gonna say ‘i do’ in all the right places and make my bro happy, got me?”

“he deserves better,” Stretch whispered, hoarsely. His sockets were swimming with tears.

“maybe,” Red said ruthlessly, ignoring Blue’s sound of outrage. It would take too long to explain that it wasn’t about who deserved what, it was about what was _needed_. And what Edge needed was running close to 6’5”, lanky and loud and stinking of cigarettes. He didn’t have the time to make Stretch believe that. It was okay, though, Red was used to taking shortcuts. “but he wants you. and believe you me, i am all about making sure he gets what he wants, you get me?”

The tears were starting to flow and Red sighed, pulling out a handkerchief and roughly wiped them away before they could stain his shirt.

“it’s gonna be fine, bro,” he said softly and Stretch took a slow, shuddery breath and nodded.

“okay.”

As motivational speeches went, the boss would have his ass if he ever heard about it, but fuck it, Stretch would probably keep it zippered and if Blue had an issue, he had his own subtle ways of getting revenge. Red had some respect for that.

Besides, what worked, worked. Stretch was on his feet and walking in, with Blue and Red at his heels. Made it all the way inside and only then did he hesitate, stiffening. The altar was empty except for Sans, who was chatting amicably with the crowd. Red caught Stretch before he could take more than a step back, propelling him forward. “calm your tits, honey bun,” he murmured, “he’s coming.”

By then it was too late; Sans caught sight of Stretch and made a ‘come hither’ gesture with his finger, pointing to a spot in front of him.

At that moment, the door opened on the opposite side and Edge walked in. Red had to admit, his bro cleaned up pretty well and from the stunned expression on Stretch’s face, he was thinking something close to the same thing.

His suit was similar to Stretch’s, same colors and all, but where Stretch’s was simple and straightforward, Edge was wearing a cape, because of course he was, fucking drama queen, the silk lining of it matching his vest and hey, if you were one of the rare people out there who could wear a cape, you should always wear one. His bro could lay claim to the cape-bearing title. No tie, his collar was high like a priest, and across his collarbone was a chain holding the cape in place.

Edge was carrying a single white rose and Red had no idea if Stretch was supposed to have one or not. If so, Edge didn’t seem to care. He didn’t need Sans’s direction, he stepped right up to the front, cape swirling as if he’d spent a year practicing it like the world’s most pretentious Batman, only on Edge it looked natural, like he’d been born with it. There were worse talents, Red supposed.

They probably weren’t supposed to talk and his brother, who’d planned this to death, who probably had fucking excel worksheets and shit, who liked arranging things, who liked _order_ , looked right at Stretch and whispered, “You’re beautiful.”

Orange touched his cheekbones and a quiet murmur of appreciation came from the peanut gallery, along with a few sniffles. Yeah, okay, Red was gonna go stand by his brother now because he’d already given his handkerchief to Stretch. This was gonna get ugly and he wanted a front row seat.

There was a pulpit but if Sans stood behind it, no one was going to see him. Instead, he pulled out a step stool, which had been painted white and liberally decorated with flowers like every other damn thing.

Anyone who didn’t think his bro had a sense of humor wasn’t paying attention.

Sans climbed up it amicably enough, and it put him as high as their shoulders. “well, hey, two grooms” Sans said easily. “good of you two to join us.” A titter of laughter went through the crowd. “now, edge gave me a speech for all this and it’s pretty nice, folks, you’re gonna love it. but before all that, i’d like to say something.” 

“i think almost everyone knows how you all ended up here and i don’t mind saying it was rough going at first. this wasn’t where any of us expected to be,” Sans said, with rare sincerity, his hands clasped loosely in front of him. “i’ve been watching both of you since you got here. it’s kinda what i do. watched you both grow, watched you change. i got to watch you heal, here on the surface with your friends.”

He waved a hand out at the gathered crowd. Monsters, yeah, Undyne and Alphys were sitting with Papyrus, who’d been playing the part of usher while everyone else worked through the issues. Asgore was in the back, alongside Frisk and Toriel, Monsters from the embassy, all their friends and neighbors. There were Humans too, Antwan had slipped into his seat after Edge came out, next to Andy, and with them was a woman Red didn’t know. What he did know was that Edge had fought to get her emergency clearance for the wedding, and that meant Red had spent half a day investigating her.

Why the fuck it was so important that a lady who owned a coffee shop be here, he didn’t know, but his brother had wanted her there, and there she was, wiping her eyes already with a Kleenex. Good mascara.

“they got to watch, too,” Sans went on. “and i watched you find each other, make a bond together, and we are all here today to watch you make that bond a little more permanent. not that I think either of you needed words for that.”

Sans smiled a little, rocking on his feet, and his stepladder creaked. “anyway, what i wanted to tell you two is, while you’re bonding your families together in marriage, i’d be happy to call both of you my brothers, too. we make our own families and you two are part of mine.”

“And mine,” Papyrus chimed in from the chairs, his smile brighter than the flowers sitting next to him.

“That means you’d have to accept my brother, too,” Edge murmured.

Another titter went through the crowd and Stretch grinned outright. Red only shrugged. Yeah, take your laughs, comedians. He’d allow it, today only.

Sans slanted him a look and an unsubtle wink. Pervert. 

“yeah, well, for better or for worse ain’t just for marriages. so!” He clapped his hands together. “now that we got the opening act out of the way, let’s get this show on the road.” With a flourish, he pulled out a stack of notecards and then promptly tossed them over his shoulder to land behind the pulpit. “don’t worry, i got this. dearly beloved…”

* * *

Outside the town hall, someone had set up a discreet little smoking area. Not too far off the beaten path, probably since everyone knew that one of the grooms was the most likely to be using it. Stretch pulled a pack of cigarettes out of the inside pocket of his jacket, flicked his lighter, and inhaled pale smoke, relaxing as the nicotine incorporated itself into his magic.

He looked at his hand, a cigarette held between his first two fingers and the weight of the ring on his third finger unfamiliar and heavy. True to his word, he hadn’t seen it until Edge had slipped it on his finger, nor the one he’d been handed to put on Edge’s. It was a fairly plain band, lacking gemstones but there was an intricate design on the platinum surface. Not too surprising; Edge liked the pretties but Stretch was a plain sort of guy, so it looked like he’d compromised. There was some sort of plastic sleeve on the underside, too, holding it in place. Made sense, didn't want it rattling against his bones all the time. He couldn't wear it in the lab, anyway, not around moving parts or chemicals, it was a good way to lose a finger.

_With this ring, I thee wed_

A door opened behind him, shaking him from the memory, but when Stretch turned to look, it was Red. He stepped up to the ashtray and pulled out one of those nasty little cigars he favored, lighting it with a match and inhaling much the same way Stretch had a minute earlier.

Stretch crushed the butt of his cigarette into the ashtray and lit another, before he said softly, “red?”

“yeah?” Red exhaled a cloud of smoke with the word.

“thanks.”

“no problem, bro.” The door opened again, and this time Edge came out. From the swirl of his cape to the shine on the tips of his shoes, he was gorgeous. And from now on Stretch got to say, ‘my husband, Edge’. From now until forever, whenever that was.

“he’s all yours, honey bun,” red muttered and walked away, still puffing, heedless of no smoking signs.

Edge smiled at him. His own ring caught the light with a mellow gleam. “Are you ready to head to the reception?”

“in a minute.” Stretch tamped out his cigarette only half-smoked and dropped it into the ashtray. Soon they’d be surrounded by people again and likely would the rest of the night, and he had a few things to say first. “i’m sorry i’ve been kinda an asshole the past few weeks.”

“You weren’t…” Edge began. Stretch held up a hand and he subsided, his brow bone furrowed in confusion.

“let me talk for a minute, babe,” Stretch said softly.

“All right.”

His confusion only grew more obvious when Stretch took his hand gently in his own, a mimicry of the ceremony they’d just gone through. He stroked Edge’s ring with his thumb, cool metal on bone.

“you deserve better than this, than me,” Stretch said bluntly. “but as it turns out, i'm too selfish to let you go.”

"Rus--"

"hush," he said sternly. Tuxedos sort of demanded standing up straight and that meant he was actually looking down at Edge. Looking into his eye lights, deep crimson gazing back up at him. Edge probably thought he knew what Stretch saw when he looked into him, what he _saw_ , probably had no idea of the purity of soul that lay beneath his exterior.

Stretch knew. He knew Edge so very well. 

"so you know something?” Stretch leaned in to whisper, like it was a secret, “i think i'm just going to try to love you the very best that i can for the rest of our lives.”

Edge smiled, a little, the softness in it hinting at deeper secrets, but Stretch already knew them. He knew them all. "I'd like that."

Stretch nodded. That felt better than any other vows he'd said today. "okay. so how about we party?" 

“Oh, before we go in, I do have one more thing for you.” Edge reached into his pocket and pulled out a small jeweler’s box, dropping it into Stretch’s hands. Curiously, he opened it. It was a ring made out of soft, flexible silicon, colored as bright as any rainbow and with a heart imprinted in it.

“I know you can’t wear metal in the lab, so I thought—" 

Stretch was kissing him before he could finish, breathing words into him, “i love you. i love you so, so much.”

Gentle hands cupped his face and Edge kissed him back, catching his words and repeating them back to him. Stretch could smell flowers and cigarettes and Edge, everything mixed together alongside words of love, and he’d never been happier in his life.

“till death do us part, right?” Stretch murmured.

“Not for a long, long time,” Edge assured him.

“yeah, i liked the dearly beloved part better,” Stretch pressed a last kiss to his mouth, his cheek bone, his forehead, “but i didn’t need a ring to know that. okay, time to dance.”

Edge sighed and took Stretch’s hand. “I didn’t forget. Let’s go.”

He could feel Edge’s ring against his own fingers, warmed from his body temperature, and Stretch let his husband lead him inside where their friends and family were waiting.

His husband. Yeah.

He could get used to that.

-finis-


End file.
